Seinfeld Episode Overviews

Season 1

THE SEINFELD CHRONICLES - PILOT

(Episode 1): This series features the title character's humorous insights on life and his experiences as a bachelor. Initially, a girl Jerry met on the road wants to stay with him when she comes to New York. George thinks that she is just using Jerry as contingency plan. Hoffman (Kramer??) comes by to borrow a couple of pieces of meat. The girl calls and asks Jerry if she can stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she asks to stay for another night. Jerry is disappointed when everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged. Air Date: 7/5/89

THE STAKEOUT

(Episode 2): While attending a birthday party with Elaine, his former girlfriend, Jerry is introduced to Vanessa. Despite his best efforts to obtain her last Name and phone number, Jerry is only able to find out the Name of the law firm where she works. With no other option, Jerry and his friend George wait in the lobby of the law firm, hoping to "casually" run into Vanessa during her lunch break. Air Date: 5/31/90

THE ROBBERY

(Episode 3): After his apartment is burglarized, Jerry decides to move. George, a Realtor, takes Jerry to see an apartment, which they both love. Trouble ensues when George decides that he wants the apartment for himself. They try to decide who will get it. Whoever wins Elaine wants their apartment. Meanwhile, Kramer searches for the stolen property. Air Date: 6/7/90

MALE UNBONDING

(Episode 4): Jerry is annoyed that he has to spend time with a boyhood friend whom he cannot stand. Jerry's tactful attempts to end the relationship fail miserably. Kramer has an idea for a make-your-own- pizza parlor and is looking for investors. Air Date: 6/14/90

THE STOCK TIP

(Episode 5): George persuades a reluctant Jerry to invest on a stock tip. When the stock plummets, Jerry pulls out in order to minimize his losses. George stands by his investment. Meanwhile, Jerry's weekend away with his girlfriend (Vanessa) is ruined by foul weather. Kramer has an idea for a roll-out tie dispenser. Air Date: 6/21/90

Season 2

THE EX-GIRLFRIEND

(Epidode 6): George neurotically ponders how to break up with his girlfriend, Marlene, and Jerry offers advice. When Jerry meets Marlene, he finds that he is attracted to her. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him and he becomes worried about what George might think is he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act. Air Date: 1/23/91

THE PONY REMARK

(Episode 7): Jerry's parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner and he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor. When she dies soon afterword, Jerry is afraid that his remark contributed to her death. He wonders if he should go to the funeral or to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of their apartment when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona. Air Date: 1/30/91

THE JACKET

(Episode 8): Jerry goes shopping with Elaine and purchases a very expensive suede jacket. Jerry's new suede jacket makes an impression on everyone except Elaine's father, an author cut from Hemingway cloth and not suited to pampering anyone. He wears it out to dinner with Elaine's grumpy novelist father. The jacket gets ruined during a snowstorm. Air Date: 2/6/91

THE PHONE MESSAGE

(Episode 9): George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. George leaves a series of angry messages on his girlfriend's answering machine, which he later regrets. George and Jerry try to replace the tape before she hears the messages. They find out that she already heard the tape and thought it was a joke. Jerry is disturbed that his own girlfriend loves a television commercial that he despises. Air Date: 2/13/91

THE APARTMENT

(Episode 10): When an apartment in Jerry's building becomes available, he suggests that Elaine rent it. After much thought, Jerry worries that this arrangement will affect his dating life and regrets his recommendation. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women. Air Date: 4/4/91

THE STATUE

(Episode 11): Elaine persuades Jerry to hire a friend's boyfriend to clean his apartment. When Jerry realizes that a statue once owned by his grandfather is missing, he suspects the boyfriend. A confrontation could affect Elaine's working relationship with the housekeeper's girlfriend. Air Date: 4/11/91

THE REVENGE

(Episode 12): George quits his job as a Realtor out of frustration. When his boss fails to rehire him, George seeks revenge and enlists Elaine to help. Jerry and Kramer also seek revenge on a Laundromat owner who Jerry believes has stolen money that was in Jerry's clothes. Air Date: 4/18/91

THE HEART ATTACK

(Episode 13): In a typical display of histrionics, George insists that he is suffering a heart attack. He rushes to the hospital emergency room where he is diagnosed with a harmless case of tonsillitis. George becomes even sicker when he takes Kramer's advice to visit a holistic healer. Air Date: 4/25/91

THE DEAL

(Episode 14): George says it can't be done, but Jerry and Elaine set up rules and resume sexual intimacy with the understanding that they expect no more from one another as lovers than they did as "friends". Air Date: 5/2/91

THE BABY SHOWER

(Episode 15): Kramer persuades Jerry to install an illegal cable hookup. The bootleg installers arrive while Elaine is throwing a baby shower in Jerry's apartment. Meanwhile, George feels the need to confront the shower honoree, who once humiliated him on a date. Air Date: 5/16/91

THE CHINESE RESTAURANT

(Episode 16): Jerry, George, and Elaine wait an unbearable amount of time for a table at a Chinese restaurant. Elaine can barely contain her hunger and George hovers near the telephone awaiting a call from a girlfriend whose apartment he left hurriedly at a crucial moment. Air Date: 5/23/91

Season 3

THE BUSBOY

(Episode 17): George accidentally gets a busboy fired from his job and tries to atone for it. Elaine invites a boyfriend from Seattle to stay with her for a week and discovers that a week is much to long to have a houseguest and that she liked him better before. The busboy's life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's houseguest. Air Date: 6/26/91

THE NOTE

(Episode 18): Jerry's massage therapy is covered by his insurance company because his dentist (Roy) wrote a note prescribing the rub downs as a medical necessity. George and Elaine decide to make similar arrangements, but George is dismayed when he is assigned a male practitioner. Then, George's paranoia about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man and later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an insurance fraud investigation. Air Date: 9/18/91

THE TRUTH

(Episode 19): When the Internal Revenue Service seeks to audit Jerry, George arranges for his girlfriend, who once worked for the Internal Revenue Service, to help Jerry out. George and his girlfriend break up before she finishes preparing Jerry's papers, leaving Jerry and George to track her down at a sanitarium. Kramer sees to much of Elaine while dating her roommate. Air Date: 9/25/91

THE PEN

(Episode 20): Jerry and Elaine go to Florida where Jerry's father is being honored by his condominium association. When a friend of the family presents Jerry with a special pen, the gift becomes a source of tension among Jerry, his parents, and the other residents of the condominium. Elaine embarrasses herself when she takes muscle relaxants after sleeping on the Seinfeld's pull-out couch. ...."Stella!". Air Date: 10/2/91

THE DOG

(Episode 21): Jerry is cornered into caring for the dog of a man on a plane when the man is removed from a plane because of a medical emergency. The dog proves to be an absolute terror. Jerry watches the dog, leaving George and Elaine alone together, they find they have little to say to each other without their conversational third, Jerry. Air Date: 10/9/91

THE LIBRARY

(Episode 22): Jerry is informed by the library that he has an overdue book from 1971. Kramer figures that, at a rate of five cents a day, the fine now amounts to $50,000. The library's investigating officer does not like Jerry's attitude. Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense against the library cop. George thinks the homeless man he'd seen outside the library is a former gym high school gym teacher that he got fired. Kramer has his eye on one of the librarians. Elaine worries about her career when her boss hates the recommendations she makes. Air Date: 10/16/91

THE PARKING GARAGE

(Episode 23): Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer can't remember where they left Kramer's car in the enormous parking lot of a shopping mall in New Jersey. Jerry and George are arrested for urinating in public. Air Date: 10/30/91

THE CAFE

(Episode 24): From his apartment window, Jerry spies a little cafe that does not seem to be doing any business. Jerry feels sorry for the Pakistani owner and offers him some advice. George concocts a scheme to have Elaine take an IQ test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's ex-boyfriend's jacket, because he meets many women with it. Air Date: 11/6/91

THE TAPE

(Episode 25): Kramer tries to record signs of growth with his new video camera. George is excited about a new potential baldness cure that was discovered in China. While listening to a tape of his previous nights show, Jerry hears the voice of a mysterious woman who talks dirty into his tape recorder and everyone becomes excited by the voice. Elaine shines in an entirely new light for George when he is let in on the her secret, she's the voice. He is later driven crazy when she plays around with him while goofing around in front of Kramer's new video camera. George tries the bald cure. Kramer is in search of the jacket. Air Date: 11/13/91

THE NOSE JOB

(Episode 26): George is having problems dating a woman because he dislikes her enormous nose. After they break up, she gets a nose job and the surgically-corrected Audrey starts dating Kramer. Jerry attempts to overcome his lust for an actress whose intelligence leaves much to be desired. Air Date: 11/20/91

THE STRANDED

(Episode 27): Jerry & Elaine go to a party with George, while there they send signals to each other to get out of bad party conversations. Jerry and Elaine are left without a ride home when George gets lucky at the party. The party's host, who stayed up with the pair during their wait, shows up at Jerry's apartment and gets drunk with Kramer. Later George pays the price for his romance in the workplace (he must quit) George's plan to get revenge on a drugstore clerk backfires when he is caught shoplifting. Air Date: 11/27/91

NOTE: This episode was originally going to be broadcast during the second season on July 17 1991. Jerry comes on before the broadcast of this episode and explains that it is from the time before George lost his job and he wanted to"let you know, that we know, you know."

THE ALTERNATE SIDE

(Episode 28): George fills in for Sid and moves parked cars from one side of the street to the other for residents trying to avoid parking tickets. George learns that the job is harder than it first appeared. When Elaine's older boyfriend suffers a stroke, the paramedics have trouble reaching him because of the confusion created by George's parking mishaps. Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film, but gets fired after one take. Air Date: 12/4/91

THE RED DOT

(Episode 29): Jerry is the unwitting cause of Elaine's boyfriend falling off the wagon. Elaine helps George get a job at her publishing company. To show his appreciation, he buys Elaine a sweater that has been marked- down because of a tiny red spot. When George presents the gift to Elaine, he hopes she will not notice the defect. Elaine gives it back, then George gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about the fact they had sex on his desk. George is eventually fired from his job. Air Date: 12/11/91

THE SUBWAY

(Episode 30): Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer each take the subway: Jerry befriends a fat naked man with whom he spends the day at Coney Island; Elaine gets stuck on a stalled subway on her way to a lesbian wedding; George meets a beautiful con artist who takes him to a hotel, chains him to the bed, and robs him; and Kramer overhears a tip on a sure bet at the races, wins $18,000, and is chased by a shady figure. Air Date: 1/8/92

THE PEZ DISPENSER

(Episode 31): Jerry brings a pez dispenser to a piano concert at which George's girlfriend, Noel, is performing. When Jerry puts the toy on Elaine's leg, she bursts out laughing and leaves the theater. Noel is distraught that someone disrupted the recital. George decides to break up with her before she can end the relationship. Air Date: 1/15/92

THE SUICIDE

(Episode 32): Martin, Jerry's neighbor, tries to kill himself when he thinks his girlfriend, Gina, is coming on to Jerry. While Martin is hospitalized, Gina does make a pass at Jerry. George is warned by a fortuneteller of impending doom. Fearing the worst, George gives his ticket to the Cayman Islands to Kramer. Elaine needs to fast before a x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. Jerry becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake's coffee cake. Air Date: 1/29/92

THE FIX-UP

(Episode 33): Elaine and Jerry arrange a blind date between George and Elaine's friend, Cynthia. Expecting it to be a complete failure, they agree to tell each other everything they hear about the date. Tensions rise when they discover that they are each withholding information from the other. There also may be a problem with a defective condom "My boys can swim!". Air Date: 2/5/92

THE BOYFRIEND (one-hour episode)

(Episode 34,35): Jerry meets and becomes friends with Keith Hernandez, but does that mean he must help Keith move? "No!," says Kramer, who traces his and Newman's hate for Hernandez back to when they were allegedly spit on by him; however Jerry supports the "second-spitter theory". Kramer gets Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbors new baby. Meanwhile, George is out of time on his unemployment and he works harder than ever in his scheme to get a 13 week extension. Air Date: 2/12/92

THE LIMO

(Episode 36): George's car breaks down on his way to the airport to pick up Jerry. George pretends to be a delayed passenger in order to get a ride in his limousine. While taking the limo they call Elaine & Kramer to join them for an event at Madison Square Garden. When they pick up other people, George and Jerry realize that they are on their way to a Nazi rally and George is the main speaker. Air Date: 2/26/92

THE GOOD SAMARITAN

(Episode 37): Jerry sees a hit-and-run accident and catches up with the fugitive driver, an attractive redhead. He is so taken by her beauty that he forgets about the accident and asks her out on a date. When Jerry discovers that the woman she hit is a beautiful blonde, he feels torn. He tries to act as a mediator between the two women with disastrous results. George has an affair with Elaine's friend. Kramer has violent reactions to Mary Hart's voice. Air Date: 3/4/92

THE LETTER

(Episode 38): Jerry is dating an artist, who is painting a portrait of Kramer. When she gives Elaine, George, and Kramer tickets to a Yankee game, Elaine lies to her boss to avoid going to his son's circumcision. They get ejected from the seats in the owner's box because Elaine refuses to take off her Orioles cap. A photograph of the incident appears in the paper, and Elaine is afraid that her boss will see it. Jerry finds out his new girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter, on television. Air Date: 3/25/92

THE PARKING SPACE

(Episode 39): George has a day-long argument with Kramer's friend, Mike, over a great parking spot in front of Jerry's building. Elaine, Jerry, Newman, police, and passers-by argue over proper parking technique. Jerry is skeptical of Elaine's explanation of why it is not her fault that his car was damaged. Kramer tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said about Jerry being "a phony." Air Date: 4/22/92

THE KEYS Season finale

(Episode 40): Jerry takes away his spare set of keys from Kramer after he abuses his entrance privileges. This causes a series of key exchanges among Kramer, Elaine, and George. Realizing that he has broken the "covenant of the keys" gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of the shadows. Jerry gave his spare keys to Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes with George(who has her keys) to Elaine's to search for his spare set. What they find is Elaine's show-biz project. Kramer takes off for California to follow his acting dream and lands a job on "Murphy Brown." Air Date: 5/6/92

Season 4

THE TRIP, I

(Episode 41): Jerry is scheduled to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and agrees to take George with him to Los Angeles. They hope to find Kramer, who disappeared several months ago and was last seen acting in the sitcom "Murphy Brown". While trying to audition, Kramer must deal with the advances of an older female landlord and get Hollywood to read his treatment. Jerry loses some jokes and George tries to get Lupe, the housemaid, to make his bed just right. George annoys all the stars they encounter. He and Jerry are unaware that Kramer is in danger because he has been mistaken for the "Smog Strangler", a serial-killer. Air Date: 8/12/92

THE TRIP, II

(Episode 42): Kramer has been incarcerated due to a case of mistaken identity, and George and Jerry bail him out. In the process, they inadvertently allow the real serial killer to escape from the back of a police car. George and Jerry try to convince Kramer to return to NewYork. Air Date: 8/19/92

THE PITCH

(Episode 43): NBC executives approach Jerry about creating a television show. George suggests that he and Jerry develop a show about "nothing." George gets a date with one of the executives, and, much to his dismay, Kramer vomits on her jacket after drinking spoiled milk. Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, later Newman gets a ticket. The helmet saves Kramer from an attack by "Crazy" Joe. While all this is going on Elaine is in Europe with her shrink. Jerry throws out a watch his parents gave him, then meets his Uncle Leo. Kramer agrees to be an excuse for Newman's trial on a speeding ticket. [The Pitch & The Ticket were originally aired together as a one-hour episode] Air Date: 9/16/92

THE TICKET

(Episode 44): Kramer becomes confused after he is hit on the head by a psychotic writer named Joe Davola. When he is put on a witness stand as part of Newman's defense against a speeding ticket, Kramer fades in and out of lucidity, causing Newman to lose his case. NBC decides to order a pilot script for Jerry and George's show. George is upset about the amount of money he will make as a writer. Air Date: 9/16/92

THE WALLET

(Episode 45): Jerry's parents come to New York so that his father can visit a back specialist. At the doctor's office, Jerry's father realizes that his wallet is gone. Jerry lies to his parents about a watch that they gave him which he threw away. The watch turns up on the wrist of Jerry's garbage-picking Uncle Leo. In an attempt to break up with her psychiatrist boyfriend, Elaine tells him she is dating Kramer and then meets "Crazy" Joe. Air Date: 9/23/92

THE WATCH

(Episode 46): George goes to the NBC president's home to get him to try to reinstate NBC's offer. He lowers his demands until the president finally agrees. Jerry ransoms his watch from Uncle Leo for a princely sum, but Jerry's father learns that Jerry lied about the watch. Jerry purchases a replacement wallet for his father and secretly puts four hundred dollars in it. When Jerry's father sees the wallet has a Velcro zipper, he throws it away. Once again, Uncle Leo goes trash diving and comes up with the wallet and the $400! Air Date: 9/30/92

THE BUBBLE BOY

(Episode 47): Jerry is spotted at a restaurant and asked to visit a boy who lives inside a plastic bubble. Jerry, Elaine, George, and his girlfriend, Susan, are supposed to spend the weekend at Susan's father's cabin. Since the cabin is near the boy's home, Jerry agrees to stop by. Arriving early, George quarrels with the bubbleboy while playing Trivia Pursuit, almost killing him. Kramer and Jerry's girlfriend go swimming near the cabin while they wait for the others. He leaves a cigar burning that sets the cabin on fire. Air Date: 10/7/92

THE CHEEVER LETTERS

(Episode 48): Jerry and George begin to work on the pilot for the series they pitched to NBC. Susan and George must tell her father that his cabin burned down. The insurance appraiser finds a box of love letters written to Susan's father by the author John Cheever. Elaine's secretary, Sandra, quits her job because she thinks Jerry does not like her. To ease his guilt, Jerry goes on a date with Sandra. She makes obscene bedroom comments, but is insulted by his reply. . Kramer goes to the Cuban Embassy in search of cigars. NOTE: Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch and Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member joins Grace and Warren in an appearance in episode #119. Air Date: 10/28/92

THE OPERA

(Episode 49): "Crazy" Joe leaves Jerry a message saying he will put the "kibosh" on him for failure of a deal with NBC. Elaine plans to invite Joe to the opera until she discovers that he is crazy. While they wait for the others, Jerry and Elaine realize that her Joe is the same lunatic who is after Jerry. Joe shows up at the opera dressed as the clown from " I Pagliacci"; and buys a ticket from Kramer and George. He ends up sitting next to Jerry and Elaine, who make a quick exit Air Date: 11/4/92

THE VIRGIN

(Episode 50): Jerry encounters an old girlfriend and finds out that she is still a virgin. Since there seems to be some chemistry between them, she asks Elaine for sexual advice. George concludes that his new writing job will help him pick up women, but he is upset when he realizes that he cannot cheat on Susan without losing his job. His problems are over, however, when she is fired after he kisses her during a meeting. Elaine runs into a Chinese delivery boy. NOTE: Following the broadcast of this episode Michael Richards played Kramer on a show called Mad About You. It starred Paul Reiser & Helen Hunt. In the episode called The Apartment, Reiser must get rid of his old apartment, which it seems Kramer has been subletting from him. Air Date: 11/11/92

THE CONTEST

(Episode 51): George's mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching him doing "you know." When George says he'll never do it again the four friends place a bet on who can last the longest without "pleasuring" themselves. The challenge becomes more daunting as each of them is confronted with tempting situations: Kramer spies on a naked neighbor; George visits his mother's hospital room often to watch her pretty roommate get a sponge bath; Jerry's virginal girlfriend considers sleeping with him; and Elaine stands behind JFK Jr. during an aerobics class. NOTE: Tom Cherones won the Directors Guild of America Award for this episode. Air Date: 11/18/92

THE AIRPORT

(Episode 52): When their flight home gets canceled, Jerry & Elaine get on another flight, Elaine gets cramped into coach and Jerry parties in 1st class with a model. George and Kramer go between JFK and La Guardia to pick them up. When they settle on an airport George taunts a criminal who is being transported by the authorities. Kramer sees a man who owes him $240 from years ago. Air Date: 11/25/92

THE PICK

(Episode 53): Elaine agrees to let Kramer take a photograph of her for her Christmas cards. She is humiliated when she sends out the cards without realizing that her nipple is exposed. Kramer feels that Calvin Klein has stolen his idea for a perfume scent. When he meets with Klein, he is asked to model an underwear line. Jerry is afraid that his model friend Tia isn't calling him because she thinks that she caught him picking his nose. George tries to reunite with Susan, but realizes it's a mistake, and uses "The Pick". Air Date: 12/16/92

THE MOVIE

(Episode 54): Jerry tries to make two show dates and go to the movie theater to meet everyone. George gets in the wrong line for tickets. George, Elaine & Kramer decide to go another theater to see the movie. Kramer waits outside for Jerry but also wants a hot dog. Jerry misses his first show, then goes to movie theater to tell everyone he won't make the movie, but no one is there. Through a comedy of errors, everyone (but Kramer) misses the movie, they were originally going to see. Air Date: 1/6/93

THE VISA

(Episode 55): George meets a Chinese female lawyer who thinks he is real funny; so he tells Jerry not to be funny around her, but she becomes attracted to Jerry's "darkness". An important visa form belonging to Babu Baht, an immigrant friend, gets mixed in with Jerry's mail causing Babu to be arrested for not renewing his visa. Jerry tries to get a lawyer to help Babu, but George's honesty when his relationship is threatened causes Babu to be deported and Elaine to still be sued by the delivery boy she hit. Kramer comes back sooner than expected from an adult baseball camp after accidentally slugging Mickey Mantle. Air Date: 1/27/93

THE SHOES

(Episode 56): Jerry and George are treading water trying to keep their sinking television idea afloat, one of their problems is they don't know how to do the Elaine character. Jerry meets an old girlfriend he never got to kiss, later Kramer gets the opportunity. The ex-girlfriend talks about Elaine's shoes, mainly because she wants them. Jerry & George are further troubled when they meet with the NBC president, who catches them spying his teenage daughter's cleavage. Elaine rescues them by showing off her own cleavage to the executive. Air Date: 2/4/93

THE OUTING

(Episode 57): When Elaine realizes that a woman is eavesdropping on her conversation with Jerry and George, she jokingly asks them about their plans to confess their homosexuality. The woman is a reporter who writes a story about Jerry and George's alleged sexual preferences. Things really get out of hand when the article is picked up by the New York Post. George tries to use the mis-understanding to break off a relationship, but his girlfriend does not buy it. Air Date: 2/11/93

THE OLD MAN

(Episode 58): Jerry, Elaine, and George volunteer to visit with elderly people. George causes an elderly man to suffer depression. Elaine can barely look at her friend because of the woman's absurdly enlarged goiter. Kramer and Newman try the business of selling old records to a used record store. Jerry gets assigned to a cantankerous old man and loses track of him when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his dentures, after the man had bitten Kramer's arm. Air Date: 2/18/93

THE IMPLANT

(Episode 59): Jerry is dating Sidrah, whom Elaine believes has breast implants. When Elaine informs Jerry he decides to break up with her. Elaine accidentally touches Sidrah's breasts in the sauna and realizes that they are real. George tries to get closer to his new girlfriend by escorting her to her aunt's memorial service in Detroit. While there he tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the airfare. Air Date: 2/25/93

THE JUNIOR MINT

(Episode 60): Jerry has a date with a woman whose Name he has forgotten, but it "rhymes with a female body part." Elaine's ex-boyfriend, an artist, is in the hospital about to have surgery. While Jerry and Kramer observe the surgery, Kramer accidentally drops a junior mint into his open body cavity. When the artist has difficulty recovering, George purchases some of his art, expecting its value to increase if he dies. Air Date: 3/18/93

THE SMELLY CAR

(Episode 61): A valet driving Jerry's car leaves behind a terrible stench of body odor. The smell lingers in the car, clinging to everyone riding in it. Jerry is forced to try to sell the car. Elaine smells so bad that her boyfriend (Nick Bakay) refuses to see her. George learns that his ex-girlfriend, Susan, has become a lesbian. Susan's newfound sexual identity is irresistible to George. Susan's girlfriend is swayed to heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned-off by a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car can't be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it and the keys out on the street. Air Date: 4/15/93

THE HANDICAP SPOT

(Episode 62): Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer stop at a mall on their way to an engagement party to pick up a gift for "The Drake". Despite everyone's protests, George parks the car in a spot reserved for disabled drivers after taking Kramer's advice. When they return, they discover that George's choice of parking caused a disabled woman to become seriously hurt. An irate crowd gathers to find out who is responsible for her accident. While visiting the woman at the hospital, Kramer falls in love and feels compelled to replace the wheelchair. George becomes his father's butler after his father gets arrested for parking in the spot. Air Date: 5/13/93

THE PILOT Season finale

(Episode 63,64): Jerry and George are given permission by the network to begin production on their television pilot titled Jerry. Jerry gets to portray himself, but George is unhappy with the actor who plays him. Kramer shows up to audition for the part of himself but must leave when nature calls. George accuses the actor portraying Kramer of stealing a box of raisins. George thinks he has cancer because of a white blemish that appears under his lip. Elaine objects to the new coffee-shop owner only hiring buxom waitresses. At the taping of the pilot, Elaine sneaks in disguised and "Crazy" Joe jumps out of the audience. Kramer is forced to work on his plumbing by using the "dreaded apparatus." Everyone from the past season comments on the pilot as it's broadcast. Russell Dalrimple is lost at sea after taking Elaine's advice to join Greenpeace. NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The major characters from the past season who comment on the pilot were not credited for this episode. Air Date: 5/20/93

Season 5

THE MANGO

(Episode 65): Elaine admits that she faked orgasms when she was involved with Jerry, and Jerry begs her for another opportunity to satisfy her. George is afraid that the woman he is dating also fakes orgasm. Kramer tries returning a poor-quality peach to the fruit stand and is banished him from the store. Air Date: 9/16/93

THE PUFFY SHIRT

(Episode 66): When Kramer and his soft-spoken girlfriend go out to dinner with Elaine and Jerry, Jerry unwittingly agrees to wear a puffy shirt that she designed on "The Today Show." The shirt is so ridiculous that Bryant Gumble makes disparaging comments about it on the air. George is forced to move in with his parents and gets a job as a hand model and he becomes obsessed with keeping his hands safe. Air Date: 9/23/93

THE GLASSES

(Episode 67): George misplaces his eyeglasses while at the gym and asks Elaine and Jerry to help him buy a new pair. The trip to the optometrist becomes a disaster when Elaine is bitten by a dog that she fears is rabid. George tries to get a discount by mentioning Kramer's Name, but the optometrist refuses vehemently. George thinks he sees Jerry's cousin, Jeffrey, kissing Jerry's girlfriend. It turns out to be a horse. Air Date: 9/30/93

THE SNIFFING ACCOUNTANT

(Episode 68): Jerry sees his accountant at the diner and becomes suspicious of his constant sniffing so Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. George tries to become a ladies undergarment salesman after his father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Elaine dumps her writer boyfriend because his punctuation(exclamation points) is not lively enough. Air Date: 10/7/93

THE BRIS

(Episode 69): Jerry and Elaine are asked to be the godparents of Myra and Stan's baby. When Elaine hires an unsteady moil, he accidentally cuts Jerry's hand while circumcising the child. A man commits suicide by leaping from the hospital and lands on George's car. George attempts to have the hospital reimburse him for the damages. Kramer tries to liberate a man whom he believes had been genetically crossed with a pig in an evil scientific experiment. Air Date: 10/14/93

THE LIP READER

(Episode 70): Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the U.S. Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading the lips, Kramer misreads the translation, which gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis. Air Date: 10/28/93

THE NON-FAT YOGURT

(Episode 71): Jerry and Elaine think the yogurt at Kramer's friend's store is too good to be fat-free, so they take it to a lab to be analyzed where it is accidentally mixed in with mayoral challenger Guiliani's blood sample. While at the yogurt store, Jerry accidentally uses the "F" word which a young boy (Matthew) overhears and he begins to repeat the vulgarity to his mother's displeasure. The lab determines that the yogurt is not fat free and Guiliani uses this information as a campaign issue, winning the election. Elaine tells her boyfriend, Lloyd, who works for Mayor Dinkins, of George's idea that all New Yorkers wear a Name tag. This suggestion causes Lloyd to lose his job. Air Date: 11/4/93

THE BARBER

(Episode 72): After getting a bad haircut from his barber Enzo, Jerry secretly arranges for Enzo's cousin, Gino, to repair it. Enzo is suspicious that Jerry is having his hair cut by someone else, so he hires Newman to steal a piece of Jerry's hair. George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not,so he decides to go into the office and act like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Air Date: 11/11/93

THE MASSEUSE

(Episode 73): Jerry dates Jodi, a masseuse, who refuses to give him a massage. His frustration increases when he discovers that she is massaging Kramer. George goes on a double date with Jerry and Jodi only to find out that Jodi cannot stand him. Unable to cope with the idea that someone does not like him, George is determined to change Jodi's opinion of him. Elaine dates a man who would be perfect for her if he did not share a Name with a notorious criminal. Air Date: 11/18/93

THE CIGAR STORE INDIAN

(Episode 74): Jerry tries to impress Elaine and her friend, Winona, with a thoughtful gift: an antique statue of a cigar store Indian. Winona, who is Native American, is deeply offended. George gets intimate with a woman on his parents' bed and accidentally leaves behind a condom wrapper. Elaine takes one of George's father's TV Guides, reads it on the subway, and then discards it. An obsessive TV Guide collector tries to return it to her. Kramer sells his idea for making a coffee table book about coffee tables to Elaine's company. Air Date: 12/9/93

THE CONVERSION

(Episode 75): Jerry is interested in his neighbor, Tawni, until he finds a fungus medication in her bathroom. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend whose a podiatrist. George wants to convert to the Latvian Orthodox religion to maintain his latest relationship. Kramer unwittingly entrances a Latvian nun-in- training who wants to leave the church to be with him. Consequently, he seeks help for the unusual power he has over women Air Date: 12/16/93

THE STALL

(Episode 76): Elaine runs out of tissue paper in a public restroom and requests some from the woman in the adjacent stall. When the woman, whom Jerry is dating, refuses, she and Elaine get into an argument. Elaine's boyfriend, Tony, is an adventurer, who holds no appeal for her other than his rugged good looks. When Tony's face is injured in a fall, Elaine has to decide whether or not she will continue to see him. Kramer suspects that Jerry's girlfriend is the same woman with whom he has phone sex. Air Date: 1/6/94

THE DINNER PARTY

(Episode 77): The four friends stop on their way to a dinner party to buy cake and wine. Elaine and Jerry get into a fight with a couple on line at the bakery, only to learn that they will be at the same party. George and Kramer run into a series of difficulties trying to purchase wine, culminating in George's breaking a shelf of bottles. When they return to their car, a man who appears to be Saddam Hussein has blocked them in. Air Date: 2/3/94

THE MARINE BIOLOGIST

(Episode 78): Jerry bumps into an old classmate who asks about George. Sensitive to George's string of bad luck, Jerry impulsively tells the woman that George is a marine biologist, and she is impressed. Kramer struggles with his golf swing and sand. When George and the woman are at the beach on a date, a marine biologists needed to help rescue a beached whale. Elaine gets to work with the acclaimed Russian writer, Yuri Testikov, who throws her electronic organizer out the window, hitting a passer- by. Air Date: 2/10/94

THE PIE

(Episode 79): Jerry can't believe that his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise. Air Date: 2/17/94

THE STAND-IN

(Episode 80): Kramer talks his stand-in friend, one of the "little people" into getting lifts, to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, whose in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won't when he finds out she is being to urged to break it off. One of Jerry's friends "takes it out" while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again. Air Date: 2/24/94

THE WIFE

(Episode 81): A girlfriend(Courtney Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents. Air Date: 3/17/94

THE RAINCOATS

(Episode 82,83): Jerry's parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and he's just returned from three weeks on the road can't get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfeld's avoid the Costanza's dinner invitation. Elaine's latest boyfriend(the "close-talker") becomes unusually fixated on Jerry's parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry's father to sell belt-less raincoats to a second hand shop and George sells his father's moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan a cruise. Eventually, Jerry and his girlfriend go to a movie together, "Schindler's List", they don't see it because they make-out during the movie, but Newman sees it and them. NOTE: Originally broadcast as a 60 min episode. Air Date: 3/28/94

THE FIRE

(Episode 84): Kramer is dating one of Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment, during her son's birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gun man. Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice. Air Date: 5/5/94

THE HAMPTONS

(Episode 85): Jerry and the gang go to the Hamptons for the weekend to see their friend's baby. George gets upset when he realizes that his date went topless on the beach. In exchange for Jerry having seen her breasts, George wants to see Jerry's date naked. Instead, Rachel walks in on George undressing after a swim, and she witnesses his post-swim "shrinkage". Jerry and Elaine are shocked to discover how ugly the baby is, and Elaine becomes especially confused when the handsome Dr. Pfeiffer describes both her and the baby as "breathtaking." Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Air Date: 5/12/94

THE OPPOSITE Season finale

(Episode 86): To change his lifelong bad luck, George determines to do everything the opposite. As a result, he winds up dating a fabulous woman and secures a job with the New York Yankees. Elaine's luck takes a turn for the worse as she gets a promotion, but her Jujy fruit habit causes a chain reaction leading to the demise of her company. Jerry loses a job only to line up another one five minutes later. Kramer appears on "Regis & Kathie Lee" promoting his coffee-table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven." Air Date: 5/19/94

Season 6

THE CHAPERONE

(Episode 87): Jerry dates Miss Rhode Island; Kramer tries to help her in the pageant; but Jerry ends up killing all her pigeons. Elaine gets new job with Mr Pitt and George gets the idea of cotton uniforms for the Yankees. Air Date: Sep 22, 94

THE BIG SALAD

(Episode 88): Jerry dates Newman's ex. George buys Elaine a big salad from the coffee shop, when his girlfriend takes credit for buying it, George lets Elaine know that it was him that bought that salad. Show ends with Kramer driving Gendison's white Ford Bronco down the interstate (ala OJ ) . Air Date: Sep 29, 94

THE PLEDGE DRIVE

(Episode 89): Elaine's friend Noreen dates a high-talker; Jerry volunteers to host a pledge drive for PBS. Jerry is talked into cashing in birthday checks from is Grandma and the checks bounce. Air Date: Oct 06, 94

THE CHINESE WOMAN

(Episode 90): When George and Ms. Changs telephone lines get crossed, Jerry makes a date with Ms. Chang thinking that she is a Chinese women. He later finds out that she is white. George's parents get a divorce. Noreen dates a long-talker. Kramer finds out he has a low sperm count. Air Date: Oct 13, 94

THE COUCH

(Episode 91): Jerry gets a new couch, which Pappi pees on. Elaine refuses to eat at Pappi's due to his stand on abortion. Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch but breaks up after finding out his stand on abortion. Air Date: Oct 27, 94

THE GYMNAST

(Episode 92): Kramer invests in computer generated 3-d art. Elaine must substitute for Mr. Pitt in a merger deal, regarding "Moland Springs"; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash. Jerry dates a '84 Romanian Olympic medalist. Kramer passes a kidney stone at the Circus. Mr Pitt ends up resembling Hitler at the end. Air Date: Nov 03, 94

THE SOUP

(Episode 93): Jerry gets free suit, but then has to take Banion out to dinner; Kramer gets rid of his refrigreator and only eats fresh food, George asks out the waitress, who becomes disinterested when he mentions manure. Elaine dates an Englishman. Air Date: Nov 10, 94

THE MOM & POP STORE

(Episode 94): George buys a car who he thinks is Jon Voight's; Kramer runs into Jon Voight and Voight bites him. Jerry crashes a party during The Thanksgiving-Day Parade at which Kramer and George try to match the teeth marks on Kramer's arm to those on a pencil found in the car. Air Date: Nov 17, 94

THE SECRETARY

(Episode 95): George hires a rather homely secretary; but ends up making out with her. Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes; Kramer sells the clothes off his back to Banion. Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone number. Elaine is convinced the department store has "skinny mirrors". Air Date: Dec 08, 94

THE RACE

(Episode 96): Kramer gets job as Santa; Jerry dates woman named Lois; Jerry must defend his high school speed legend in a race. Elaine goes out with a "Commie". Air Date: Dec 15, 94

THE SWITCH

(Episode 97): Kramer's first Name is finally revealed[COSMO]; Jerry tries the roommate switch with George's help. Elaine lends Mr Pitt's tennis racket to a lady with whom she has a job interview and tries to sneak into her office to get it back for Mr Pitt.. Air Date: Jan 05, 95

THE LABEL MAKER

(Episode 98): Jerry & Elaine think that Tim Whattly (the dentist) is a "re-gifter" after Jerry gets the same label maker that Elaine gave to Tim. George dates woman with male roommate [menogeatrios]; Jerry gives and tries to get back his Superbowl tickets. Kramer & Newman play RISK... Air Date: Jan 19, 95

THE SCOFFLAW

(Episode 99): Newman has many unpaid parking tickets; guy(John Lovitz) fakes cancer to get sympathy; George gets a hairpiece. Air Date: Jan 26, 95

HIGHLIGHTS OF A HUNDRED (Part 1)

(Episode 100): 

HIGHLIGHTS OF A HUNDRED (Part 2)

(Episode 101):

THE BEARD

(Episode 102): Elaine tries to convert a gay man after becoming attracted to him; Jerry dates a policewoman and finally admits to watching Melrose Place after taking a lie detector test. George, with his toupee, goes out with a bald woman. Air Date: Feb 09, 95

THE KISS HELLO

(Episode 103): Elaine's doctor-friend Wendy has bad hair & they want Kramer to tell her. Jerry vows to stop the "kiss hello" with Wendy. In order to make Jerry's apartment more friendly, Kramer posts everyone's' Name and picture in the apartment lobby. Jerry hates this idea as everyone would kiss him on the cheek as they would say hello Air Date: Feb 16, 95

THE DOORMAN

(Episode 104): Jerry agrees to take over the doorman's job at Mr. Pitt's apartment. When the doorman does not come back, Jerry just leaves and a couch is stolen, but he can be tracked because he signed for a package while "on duty". Kramer gets idea for male bra from George's father. Air Date: Feb 23, 95

THE JIMMY

(Episode 105): Jimmy refers to himself in the third person, confusing Elaine, causing her to agree to go on a date with him. Kramer is mistakenly assumed to be mentally challenged after he comes back from the dentist under the influence of Novocain, and later is given a swollen lip by Jimmy. Kramer tells Jerry that the Dentist has copies of PENTHOUSE in his waiting room. By the end of the show, both Elaine and George are referring to themselves in the third person. Air Date: Mar 16, 95

THE DOODLE

(Episode 106): Jerry has fleas, we find out who "the chunky" is that gave Jerry fleas after Elaine goes into Jerry's fumigated apartment looking for a manuscript. George finds a new girlfriend, he likes her until he finds out that she does not care what he looks like. He later changes his mind when she lets him walk around as "the velvet fog". Kramer loves mackinaw peaches, but looses his taste after getting fumigated. Jerry's parents stay in, and trash a hotel room that Elaine is supposed to be staying in. Air Date: Apr 06, 95

THE FUSILLI JERRY

(Episode 107): Kramer makes a "Pasta Jerry" out of FUSILLI pasta. Jerry tells his mechanic about "The Move" and he then uses it on Elaine. George wants a new move after no success with his move. Kramer gets license plates that read ASSMAN. Mr Castanza must go to a proctologist after falling on the "FUSILLI Jerry". Air Date: Apr. 27, 95

THE DIPLOMAT'S CLUB

(Episode 108): Elaine wants to quit her job with Mr Pitt. Mr. Pitt puts Elaine in his will & then gets sick (because of wrong advise from Jerry about prescription drugs) & is on the verge of dying. Elaine and Jerry are accused of plotting to kill him. Kramer starts-up his betting habit again at the airport wagering on the arrival/departure times of flights and is bailed out by Newman. Jerry tries to get back in time to go out with a model but he angers the pilot (during his comedy show), gets kicked off the plane, and must drive back to the City making him late. George tries to find a black friend. Air Date: May 4, 95

THE FACE PAINTER

(Episode 109): Elaine and Jerry go to a hockey game the rangers and devils with Elaine's boyfriend who is a face painter. Kramer gets into trouble with a monkey. George contemplates telling his girlfriend that he loves her. Air Date: May 11, 95

THE UNDERSTUDY Season Finale

(Episode 110): Jerry has trouble deciding when he should comfort his girlfriend who also happens to be Bette Midler's understudy in the musical version of Rochel Rochel. During a softball game George injures Bette Midler at home plate & Jerry & George are accused of taking-out Bette on purpose just to get Jerry's girlfriend a starring role in the musical. Elaine gets a job for a clothing catalog. Kramer nurses Bette back to health. Elaine takes Frank Costanza along with her to the manicurist to translate for her and Frank meets and old girlfriend . She dumps Frank after he "stops short" on her. Air Date: May 18, 95

Season 7

THE ENGAGEMENT

(Episode 111): Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dog napping and take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep. Air Date: Sept. 21,95

THE POSTPONEMENT

(Episode 112): Elaine's dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer's involvement in the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record. Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn't "concerned" with George's intentions, but is really jealous that he's the first of the group to get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry and anyone else who'll listen. Kramer and Jerry try to see Plan 9 From Outer Space; however, Kramer "tries" to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says he has a case. Air Date: Sep 28, 95

THE MAESTRO

(Episode 113): George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and decides that he needs to help a security guard that works at her uncle's store. Kramer's friend "Maestro", makes a comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the "Maestro." Kramer's out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him "hopped up on the caffeine." Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany and is referred to Poppy's cousin, who makes him an offer he can't refuse. Air Date: Oct 05, 95

THE WINK

(Episode 114): Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; however, he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry's healthy breakfast, gets into George's eye and causes problems for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry's healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine's cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O'Neill will hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George's wink. Air Date: Oct 12, 95

THE HOT TUB

(Episode 115): Jerry tries to help Elaine's runner friend make it to the marathon on time; Kramer gets a hot tub & it ends up blowing the fuses. Without power, Jerry's alarm clock doesn't go off and the runner is practically late for the race. George meets with some "bastards" from TX. Air Date: Oct 19, 95

THE SOUP NAZI

(Episode 116): While on their way to the "soup place" Elaine finds an antique cabinet she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the "Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to move her cabinet into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet talking with his current girlfriend. Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the "Soup Nazi," gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad daylight and in Kramer's presence, two guys come along and take the cabinet. Kramer relates the story of the cabinet to the "Soup Nazi," who says he has a cabinet in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas in the "soup place" and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the cabinet and tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the "Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the cabinet contains the "Soup Nazi's" recipes and Elaine takes them for the final confrontation. Air Date: Nov 02, 95

THE SECRET CODE

(Episode 117): George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation. Air Date: - Nov 09, 95

THE POOL GUY

(Episode 118): Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes that she has no female friends, Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George's worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, then he can't get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry's idea. Kramer's new phone number is similar to a film information line. He keeps getting wrong numbers, so he begins giving out the information. NOTE: This episode was dedicated as follows: In memory of our friend Rick Bolden. Air Date: Nov 16, 95

THE SPONGE

(Episode 119): Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decided whether her current boyfriend is worthy. George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets a now he's "out of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won't "wear the ribbon." Air Date: 12-7-95

THE GUM

(Episode 120): Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum, that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who's had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George's car, once owned by "Jon Voight" ( see episode #94 ), catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he's not crazy. NOTE: Writer/executive producer Larry David makes an uncredited cameo as a guy who sells George a pack of gum. Air Date: 12-14-95

THE RYE

(Episode 121): Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who's sponge-worthy but "he doesn't really like to do everything." Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are "hot and heavy." Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of "Beef-A-Reeno.". Susan's parents meet and have dinner with the Costanzas for the first time. Both families obsess over a loaf of rye bread that wasn't served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine's boyfriend writes a song about "their relationship," which later has a big impact on his career. Kramer takes over a friend's horse-drawn carriage for a week and helps George out with his scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of "Beef-A-Reeno" right before giving the Ross's their ride. NOTE: As stated in episode #048 Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch and Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member, Frances Bay also appears in this episode. Coincidence? Air Date: 1-4-96

THE CADDY

(Episode 122): Kramer befriends a caddie, who helps him to improve his golf game and offer his other advice. George's bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that he is there in the morning before everyone else and still there after they all leave. They don't know that he's just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent's rebuilt cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who's heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune and has never worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident with George's car. With George's damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he's dead. Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza's. Kramer and Elaine take her rival to court and only Jerry may stand in the way. Air Date: 1-25-96

THE SEVEN

(Episode 123): Elaine sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses to Name her baby with the Name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out. Air Date: 2-1-96

THE CADILLAC (one-hour episode)

(Episode 124,125): Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well. Kramer who now knows about what Jerry makes says it will change their relationship. It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine; she's interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when one of Elaine's friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar winning actress, Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine's friend is in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for his new Cadillac. Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George's obsession with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine gets George Marisa's phone number and now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her "boyfriend" Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty's ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is the woman Jerry stole the marble rye from, but she doesn't remember him, at least at first. The cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George's meeting with Marisa doesn't go as well as planned and Susan thinks he's having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes defeat. Air Date: 2-8-96

THE SHOWER HEAD

(Episode 126): Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry parent's are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida, that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction(poppy seeds) and finds a donor(Mrs. Seinfeld) for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making fun of the family. Air Date: 2-15-96

THE DOLL

(Episode 127): Susan's old roommate from college, Sally, gives Jerry a package she wants him to be careful with; which he is, but loses his package in the process. Frank tells George he is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who looks just like him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind. Kramer challenges him to a game where the space is a bit tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which he is convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks uncannily like George's mother; she doesn't believe it, but he does and it affects his performance. Jerry is going to be on Charles Grodin's show with one of the Three Tenors, not Pavarotti or Domingo, but "the other guy." Elaine goes with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of "the other guy," for "the Maestro" that was damaged while they were in Tuscany. "The Maestro" provides a new fashion for Kramer and Frank while playing pool, and his baton is an answer to the space problem in the billiard room. Susan's roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing him back a better barbecue sauce and bringing a doll to the studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier than the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance. Air Date: Feb 23, 1996

THE FRIARS CLUB

(Episode 128): George is happy because he has a three month reprieve. The wedding is delayed until June (just in time for the end of the May sweeps and a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also excited because Jerry is going to go out with Susan's best friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as being "Gatsby"-like. Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a jacket he "borrowed" for dinner there, at a performance of comedic jugglers that was "worked on" by Susan's friend. Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci and falls asleep at some inopportune moments; one of which puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee and Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded with some of his work. Trying to see how deaf he really is, Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears and tries to help out their budding relationship. Air Date: March 7, 96

THE WIGMASTER

(Episode 129): Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. The clerk "hits on" Elaine. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; but George discovers why the lot is so cheap when he finds a used condom in his car and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able to trust him and have no doubts. Kramer decides to put his car in the lot. Kramer borrows a pink Cadillac when he can't get his car out. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. Kramer stays at Jerry's apartment. Elaine has a walking stick she lets Kramer have it. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back-up "Electric Color Dreamcoat." Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute out of his borrowed car. Air Date: April 4, 96

THE CALZONE

(Episode 130): George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out. Air Date: April 25, 96

THE BOTTLE DEPOSIT (One-hour episode)

(Episode 131,132): Jerry takes his car to a mechanic and is stunned when he steals it. Elaine is sent on Peteman's behalf to bid on a set of golf clubs once owned by JFK. The golf clubs were in Jerry's trunk when his car was stolen. Kramer and Newman come up with a scheme to collect used pop bottles & take them to Michigan where they can get twice as much money for returns. On the way, Kramer spots Jerry's car, dumps all the bottles as well as Newman. Newman gets in trouble with an old farmer who warns Newman to keeps his hands off his daughter. Air Date: May 2, 96

THE WAIT OUT

(Episode 133): After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple, Jerry & Elaine wait in anticipation of their separation. Elaine sporting a new hairstyle, starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. David returns the off-hand remark to George, in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things, he thinks it is his ticket out. Air Date: May 9, 96

THE INVITATIONS (season finale)

(Episode 134): As the big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry (thinking of a single future with Kramer) nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry's in love with Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank's offer of a $100 if one of their teller's doesn't say hello. Is "Hey," hello? George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the news, he's "out". NOTE: The scenes shot with the real George Steinbrenner for this episode, were cut from the final edit. It is reported that these scenes might be included in an episode, next season. Air Date: May 16, 96

Season 8

THE FOUNDATION (season premiere)

(Episode 135): After Susan's death, George is ready to move on, but her parents want to keep her memory alive by setting up a foundation in her memory. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but much younger. Jerry runs into Dolores ("her name rhymed with a female body part" -see episode #60), she suggests that they get together again. Peterman breaksdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge. Jerry and Dolores get together; however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured. Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. George's widower story scores the highest! Kramer's classmates beat him up after class. The Foundation is taking up all of George's time, and while there he discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan. Air Date: Sept. 19, 96

THE SOUL MATE

(Episode 136): George believes The Foundation thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method that comedian Jerry Lewis once used to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and asks Newman for advice. Elaine insists that she'd rather not have a baby, and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a tape recorder in his brief case at a board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam, and bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession: Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how serious he is about not having children. The guys find out Pam doesn't want children either and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase. Air Date: Sept. 26, 96

THE BIZARRO JERRY

(Episode 137): Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and is mistaken for an employee so he starts working there. Elaine sets Jerry up with a beautiful friend, but she has "man hands." George uses a picture of her and passes her off a his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and two of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George busy in the "Forbidden City" and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone. Air Date: Oct. 3, 96

THE LITTLE KICKS

(Episode 138): Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dancing. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film & Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine wonders why her employees have lost respect for her & thinks it might be due to George's influence, so she makes him "off limits" to Anna. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who makes a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Brody likes Jerry's camera work and asks him to do more films. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. After Jerry refuses to tape anymore movies for Brody, George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York. Air Date: Oct. 10, 96

THE PACKAGE

(Episode 139): Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result. Air Date: Oct. 17, 96

THE FATIGUES

(Episode 140): Jerry is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor. George prepares to give a lecture on risk management by reading a book, but realizes that books-on-tape have spoiled him. Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face with him, she promotes him. Kramer runs a Jewish singles night at Frank's Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his girlfriend's mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so he plans to fail an eye test. Elaine's recently promoted employee has some disturbing new ideas. She plans to promote him again. Kramer's party plans go awry when he has to cook for over 180 people. He needs to get Frank's advice on cooking for the masses, despite George's warning. Elaine's promotional plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry's girlfriend sees Bania's act and loses respect for her mentor. Elaine tries working with her employee. George figures out an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming Bania's mentor. Jerry and his now ex-girlfriend get their files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine and Bania on risk management. Frank's cooking skills are reborn, until he sees someone choking. Air Date: Oct. 31, 96.

THE CHECKS

(Episode 141): Elaine's new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture & the song "Desperado." Jerry spots an umbrella salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman says it was someone else. Hundreds of twelve cent royalty checks keep arriving from Jerry's brief appearance on a Japanese TV show. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners he hired are actually a religious cult. Intrigued, George tries to be converted, but they're not interestedin him. Kramer meets some Japanese businessman & he takes them out on the town & to the cleaners. Brett delivers a large chest of drawers to Kramer & thinks that Jerry might be jealous. Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry & George did would be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple of Japanese TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that she & Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese friends up at his place. They're sleeping in the chest of drawers. Jerry, caught in the rain, meets the man who claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced Jerry is down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a new recruit. Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer's guests get stuck in the chest. Jerry, with writers cramp from check signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the Japanese guests & injures Brett who passes out. The TV executives, scared from Jerry's actions, turn down the TV pilot. While Mr. Wilhelm shows up to clean the carpets. Air Date: Nov. 7, 96

THE CHICKEN ROASTER

(Episode 142): Kenny Rogers' Fried Chicken Restaurant opens in the neighborhood & the large neon chicken sign beams lights-up Kramer's apartment. Jerry meets an old college buddy who he talks into missing an important meeting which, in turn, gets him fired. Elaine abuses Peterman's expense account, including a big hat for George, that he tries leaving at the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to get a second date with her. Elaine tries to justify her expenses to the accounting department & needs the hat. Jerry's college friend becomes "manager" of the chicken place. Kramer & Jerry switch apartments; however, more than just the apartment gets switched! Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny's chicken. Elaine brings George to the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to retrieve the hat. Jerry demands his apartment back when he finds out Kramer is hooked. Elaine goes to Burma in search of Peterman to get her expenses authorized. George keeps scheming to get that second date. Jerry's fake Russian hat has an impact on the chicken business. Air Date: Nov. 14, 96

THE ABSTINENCE

(Episode 143): George's girlfriend has mono & can't have sex with him for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry is bumped at career day at his former junior high school, & then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's & is asked to leave so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes him smarter. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. She uses George's technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese & prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license & leaves her sexless. Air Date: Nov. 21, 96

THE ANDREA DORIA

(Episode 144): George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into, but finds out he can't get it because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." She is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Jerry & Kramer discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. Kramer's has a cold but he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; but he won't since he didn't get transfered to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get cold medicine. Elaine's blind date gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper". George confronts his rival for the apartment & decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her & tells she has "a big head." Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication & beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine & she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail, but he's too efficient for the Post Office. Elaine meets up with her blind date & makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. Air Date: Dec. 19, 96

THE LITTLE JERRY

(Episode 145): Everyone comments about a bad check of Jerry's that is on display at Marcelino's store. While visiting a prison, George meets a female convict that he decides to ask out. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster that he names "Little Jerry Seinfeld"; of course he really wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry's parents find out about the check & offer to send money. Elaine finds out her bald boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him to start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs of hair loss. He begins to feel despondent. George's convict girlfriend is up for parole. Kramer enters "Little Jerry" in a cock fight that if he wins, Jerry's bad check will be taken down. George is a character witness for Celia's parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her in. Jerry's bad check doesn't come down, because Marcelino wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-loss advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine. Jerry & Kramer train "Little Jerry" for the big cock fight. George experiences "fugitive sex" when Celia breaks out after her parole was denied. Celia is tracked down & Kurt is mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a ringer in for the big fight; Kramer tries to save "Little Jerry" but pays the price. Air Date: Jan. 9, 1997

THE MONEY

(Episode 146): Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. Elaine buys George's coffee & he thinks she's sticking it to him. Jerry & George talk about the money their parents might have. This peaks George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habits. Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family's health history. Jerry meets with Klompus & agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George anticipating a big inheritance, begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus wrecks the car & Jerry returns to Florida. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular position at Peterman, with no options. George & Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash & credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer & Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas house. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place. Air Date: Jan. 16, 1997

THE COMEBACK

(Episode 147): George has trouble thinking of a comeback to a comment made by Reilly; he finally thinks of one, but too late. Jerry buys a new tennis racket from a supposed professional. Elaine & Kramer discuss video picks. Elaine prefers picks by Vincent. He prefers picks by Gene or his own. He watches his latest pick & it makes him concerned about spending the rest of his life in a coma. Elaine is intrigued when she receives a phone call from the mysterious Vincent. Jerry discovers that the "tennis pro" is a terrible player. George comes up with what he thinks is the perfect line & will listen to no one else's opinion. Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine as the executor. The tennis pro, fearing he will be exposed, tries to bribe Jerry, including a rendezvous with his wife. Elaine opts for another movie & makes Vincent angry. George finds out that Reilly doesn't work for the Yankees anymore, so he tracks him down to Ohio, where he plans to deliver his line. Kramer finishes the video he rented & discovers it is possible to recover from a coma, so he decides to change his will. Milos' wife has no respect for him; so he asks Jerry to let him beat him in tennis. Elaine receives a phone call from Vincent & they agree to meet. She is surprised to find out he is just a teenager. Kramer goes into a coma after being hit with tennis balls. Meanwhile, in Akron, George delivers his line. Air Date: Jan. 30, 97

THE VAN BUREN BOYS

(Episode 148): Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. They all seem over-qualified except one who's a lot like George. Elaine is writing Peterman's biography. Kramer encounters the Van Buren boys & accidentally flashes their gang sign saving himself. Peterman's day-to-day life is very boring, Elaine tells him about Kramer's encounter & Peterman suggests buying the story for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his plans causing George to disqualify him from the scholarship. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine finds Kramer's story about as dull as Peterman's. George tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of Ellen. They like her & he begins to see the light. Air Date: Feb. 6, 97

THE SUSIE

(Episode 149): Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball. He hopes to show off his tall blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says she wants to talk. He runs away. "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He really wants to make that big entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact, Kramer attends the game & gets into a fight with a key player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hears about the complaints & demands to see Elaine, Peggy & "Susie" in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry, so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer breaks up with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through the morning meeting. Mike gets trapped in Jerry's trunk. Elaine & Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to eliminate "Susie." George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine delivers the eulogy at "Susie"'s wake, much to the confusion of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance at the ball. Mike escapes from Jerry's trunk & accuses him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell George; Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in "Susie"'s honor. Air Date: Feb. 13, 97

THE POTHOLE

(Episode 150): Jerry's girlfriend uses a toothbrush that he had just pulled out of the toilet. George shows off the new Phil Rizzuto key ring. Kramer complains about the failing highway infra-structure, so he adopts a one mile piece of a highway. Elaine tries to order a new Chinese dish, but she lives out of bounds. George loses his keys. Jerry plans to secretly sterilize his girlfriend's mouth. Despite his attempts, he just can't get past "cleanliness" hangup. George theorizes that he may have lost his keys when he jumped over a pothole. Kramer works diligently to keep his part of the road clean. Elaine schemes to get her Chinese food by moving into a janitor's closet, located in the building across the street. A woman who lives in the building begins to complain to her about the cleaning up the building needs. Jenna finds out about the toothbrush & sticks something of Jerry's in his toilet; only he doesn't know what. Kramer's plans to improve his mile of road takes a turn for the worse. Elaine has the gang over for dinner in the janitor closet she's moved into temporarily. George works to clear the pothole. Jerry breaks it off officially when Jenna's toilet problem becomes to much to bear. Elaine brings the garbage to the dump in Jerry's car. Kramer spills the paint thinner on the highway. Sparks hit the spill & Newman is in the middle of the resulting fire. Air Date: Feb. 20, 97

THE ENGLISH PATIENT

(Episode 151): A beautiful woman (Danielle) mistakes George for her boyfriend, Neil. George becomes obsessed with meeting this "Neil". Kramer asks Jerry to bring back some "Cubans" while Jerry is in Florida helping his parents move. Elaine sees "The English Patient" on a date and hates it, alienating her from everyone. Jerry buys his dad a T-shirt saying "#1 DAD". Although it's too small his dad wears it all the time. In his parents weight room, Jerry meets Izzy; a very competitive 80 year old who challenges Jerry to weight lifting. Izy throws out his back & blames Jerry. Turns out the cubans aren't cigars, they're really Dominicans that Kramer wants to pass-off as Cubans in rolling cigars for him. Jerry meets the rest of Izzy's comptetive family & puts them in the hospital too. Peterman takes Elaine to see "The English Patient" & she ends up having to live in the Tunisian desert to keep her job. The Dominicans' new job puts the real Neil in the hospital. When Danielle decides to stay with Neil, George gets the last word on Neil. Air Date: March 13, 97

THE NAP

(Episode 152): George constructs a place to nap while at work; under his desk. Kramer finds the local pool too constricting for his swimming needs so he begins swimming in the East River. Elaine's date sends her a mattress for her back but she gets the wrong idea. She gives the mattress to Kramer. Jerry is getting new kitchen cabinets & George ends up getting the contractor to make some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm clock. Steinbrenner visits George's office & decides to wait for George to return. George gets Jerry to phone in a bomb threat in an effort to get Steinbrenner out of his office. Meanwhile, Jerry's contractor, has made a change in Jerry's kitchen that no one likes. Elaine gets her mattress back, but Kramer has fouled it up with the stench of the East River. Elaine's boyfriend discovers the benefits of swimming in the East River too. Steinbrenner hears a ticking sound in George's office, thinks it's a bomb and calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old kitchen back. Elaine throws her back out trying to get rid of the mattress. Kramer's river gets crowded & George finds a new place to nap. - Jerry's cabinets! Air Date: April, 10, 97

THE YADA YADA

(Episode 153): George's enjoys his girlfriend's use of the phrase "yada yada". Jerry's dentist(Tim Whatley) just became Jewish & is already making jewish jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable. Jerry thinks Tim converted just to corner the joke market. Kramer & Mickey double date but they can't decide which of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference for Beth & Arnie, a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. Mickey & Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets her to fill in the details & discovers much more than he wants to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim's conversion. Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth & Arnie & makes a huge sacrifice attempting to get them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her marriage falls apart. Beth accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she proclaims an unknown side of her personality. Air Date: April 24, 97

THE MILLENNIUM

(Episode 154): Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year's Eve party two years in advance & he has some strange ideas about what life in that year. George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his position on the speed dial & then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit from the Yankees organization; however, all his attempts make him look better in the organization. The step-mother of Jerry's girlfriend's confronts him over his #1 position on the speed dial. Newman compromises with Kramer about their respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only has one condition, the next century must be "Jerry free." Elaine discovers the clothing store she began frequenting is owned by the same woman who didn't help her at the other store. Kramer reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings & gets Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans her revenge on the store with Kramer's help. Jerry gets caught in the middle of a speed dial war between his girlfriend & stepmother. Air Date: May 1, 97

THE MUFFIN TOPS

(Episode 155): Elaine has an idea for a store that sells only muffin tops, but finds that there is nowhere to put the stumps. George watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts wearing some of the clothes. Kramer begins claiming that he is the real "Peterman." George becomes a tourist from Arkansas when he meets a beautiful woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves his chest & worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend likes hairless dogs. Kramer starts conducting "Peterman Reality Tours". Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down two jobs & makes a deal to trade George for chicken. . Elaine hires "a cleaner" to make the muffin stump problem go away. While on Kramer's tour, Jerry's chest begins itching from hair growth. Air Date: May 8, 97

THE SUMMER OF GEORGE

(Episode 156): George's severance package from the Yankees should last him about 3 months so he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Kramer goes to the Tony Awards as a seat filler. When Elaine criticizes a co-worker who walks with no arm movements, Elaine is accused of being "catty." Jerry's date has a man living with her. By mistake, Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical starring Raquel Welch. Kramer is confronted by the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" who have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. George is in charge of buying invitations for Lanette's party. Kramer does his duty but pays the price. A mad Raquel Welch gets into a cat fight with Elaine. George gets distracted & slips on an invitation. The gang is back at the hospital, where they were one year ago only this time George is the one in a hospital bed. Air Date: May 15, 97

Season 9

THE BUTTER SHAVE Season premiere

(Episode 157): Not fully recovered from "The Summer of George", George is using a cane to get around. Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He's also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working, only because he is following Jerry's act, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs & also gets one of Jerry's ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. Kramer finds butter is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the cane -they think he is handicapped & of course he takes full advantage of the situation. Kramer's ends up spreading butter it all over his body. Unfortunately he lays out in the sun where he begins to cook. Newman finds the smell of a cooked Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is going to follow him on the NBC showcase. Jerry plans to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny's act will also bomb, but Kenny gets the last laugh. Air Date: Sept. 25, 97

THE VOICE

(Episode 158): Since George's employer found out that he isn't really handicapped, his boss attempts to fire him. However his one year contract with Play Now states that as long as he shows up he'll be paid. Jerry & George mock the sounds that Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach makes during the night. Because of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him that she won't. Kramer is tired of seeing all his ideas implemented by other people, so he hires an intern to take care of the day to day chores that keep him from realizing his ideas. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice & she leaves him. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office & one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his oil tank bladder idea. Jerry continues to cash in on his bet with Elaine, who just can't seem to keep away from Puddy. The big test takes place at George's workplace where Jerry plans to meet Claire. They try to warn her about the falling oil-ball, but all she hears is the voice. The lawsuit that is filed by Claire puts Play Now out of business & George out of a his contract. Air Date: Oct. 2, 97

THE SERENITY NOW

(Episode 159): Frank is supposed to say "serenity now" to calm his blood pressure. Jerry's girlfriend comments that she has never seen him get mad. Kramer offers to help George fix his parent's screen door. They remove the old door & Kramer takes it with him. Frank is selling computers & wants to bring George into his business, however, George with be competing against Lloyd Braun. At his bar mitzvah, Lippman's boy takes advantage of Elaine by using his tongue while kissing her. When Jerry learns how to get mad, it releases all his other feelings, including caring which results in a wedding proposal to Elaine. Kramer installs the screen door & ends up fighting with the neighborhood kids of "Anytown, USA." Elaine's "shiksappeal" results in both Lippmans denouncing their religion. Lloyd tells George about the negative side effects of continually using the phrase "serenity now". George releases his own feelings infront of Jerry which has an impact on emotional Jerry. Elaine seeks help from a rabbi to see if she can reduce her "shiksappeal". The side effects of "serenity now" make Kramer lose-it & destroy all of George's computers. Air Date: Oct. 9, 97

THE BLOOD

(Episode 160): Jerry's parents are concerned about his lack of exercise. Elaine visits her friend Vivian and is disappointed when Vivian implies that she isn't responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy. George's girlfriend lights some vanilla scented incense. The overpowering scent makes him hungry. He decides he needs to add food as a part of his sex life. His girlfriend tolerates some food items, but not the "salted cured meats." He also comes up with a way to separate pudding skin from the pudding, creating pudding skin singles. Kramer has been storing his blood at a blood bank that begins to raise their rates. In retaliation he decides that he is going to store the blood himself. Jerry starts a purification program to improve his diet. Vivian decides that Kramer would be a good choice for a baby-sitter; however, Elaine intercepts him en-route and proves her responsibility. Jerry, becomes the victim of an Exacto knife wound and winds up with three pints of Kramer blood. Jerry is disturbed by the infusion of Kramer blood. Especially when Kramer calls him a blood brother. George decides that adding television to his equation will make food and sex even better. Jerry's parents buy him sessions with a personal trainer, Izzy, who's going to help him work off his spare tire. Elaine hates her new responsibility, so she tries to make herself appear irresponsible. George's girlfriend doesn't like television in the equation, the "free love buffet" is over. Elaine tries to get out of being responsible, by using George as a "pinch weasel"; however, he may have found the woman of his dreams. Kramer borrows Jerry's air conditioned car to return his blood to the bank. The car overheats because the radiator is bone dry, but not for long. Jerry's last workout with Izzy results in another transfusion of blood, only this time it's not Kramer's. Air Date 16 October 1997

THE JUNK MAIL

(Episode 161): Jerry's childhood friend "Fragile" Frankie promises to get Jerry a new car because of a show he did for Frankie's car dealership. George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer plans his revenge on a company because of the over abundance of catalogs they've sent him in the past month. Elaine is back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner and plans to keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if the new guy can "handle the workload." Kramer gets deluged with more catalogs and plans to stop the mail. George's parents cut him short on his weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van and not the Saab he'd hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the country. George pops in on his parents and reminds his parent's they didn't call him back, but they have to leave right away. Kramer bricks up his mail box, but that doesn't stop his mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to sell the van, Kramer helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades considered. Kramer goes to the post office to permanently cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no-one really needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at work. George demands to know what's going on with his parents; they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn't ready for abandonment, he plans to date his cousin as a means of getting his parents involved in his life. Jerry determines that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from some old commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry's van and offers Anthony Quinn's old tee-shirt as an interesting trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer uses the van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George's cousin is into their relationship; however, George schemes to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer is captured and enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine's boyfriend gets his second piece of good news in one day, his TV career has been revitalized and she is taking him back. Jerry must sell the van after seeing what they saw. Air Date 30 October 1997.

THE MERV GRIFFIN SHOW

(Episode 162): Kramer discovers the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster. George's girlfriend, Miranda, is disgusted when George runs over some pigeons with his car. The pigeons have broken their deal with the humans. Jerry is fascinated with his girlfriend's old toy collection that she won't let him near. Elaine's new co-worker is a real sideler, he causes her to spill coffee that creates a stain that looks like Fidel Castro. Kramer reconstructs the set in his apartment and begins to conduct interviews of everyone who enters his apartment. Elaine schemes to out-sidle the sideler who might be sidling her out of a job. While George swerves to avoid a pigeon, he hits a squirrel. Jerry schemes for an opportunity to play with the toys. Kramer adds Newman as a co-host for his show to help relieve the pressure of being a host. Miranda insists that George pay for the special surgery required to fix the squirrel. Elaine gives Tic Tacs to the sideler to make him noisy, unfortunately the sound reminds Peterman of an old Haitian torture. Jerry and George execute a turkey, wine and home movie scheme in an effort to play with the toys. Elaine is disgusted by this unconscionable behavior, until she hears about the Easy-Bake Oven. Kramer decides to change the format of the show, to "Scandals and Animals." On the show, Jerry's girlfriend finds out about the schemes and animal expert Jim Fowler is there with a hawk. George brings the squirrel over to the set to get Jim Fowler's opinion. Hawks like to eat squirrels. Air Date 6 November 1997

THE SLICER

(Episode 163): Elaine is having nightmares and sleeplessness nights due to her neighbor's inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country and has left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.. George gets a dream job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar to him, then a photo in the boss's office reminds him of "the boom box incident." Fearing that he might lose his new position, George listens to Kramer's advice and plots to get hold of the photograph and get it retouched. Kramer's dissatisfied with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains a meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit her neighbor's apartment and blow the circuit breaker. Jerry is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended, but the date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about saving lives. The photo lab screws up the retouching by eliminating the boss from the photograph and not George. Jerry discovers the doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses the meat slicer to help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat; the power outage shut off the automatic feeder. Jerry's revenge date goes well, until he is reminded of the phrase "skin cancer." Elaine is still using the slicer and finds it very handy, until she tries to even her high heels. George goes back to the photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph as a cartoon. He now needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast Guard. Jerry's doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him as she does skin cancer screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some circus clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the slicer; she fixes it and quickly shoves it out the door. Kramer sees the dinged up blade and tries to get back into her apartment, but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has developed an allergic reaction to something as hives have broken out on his neck. Elaine discovers she is trapped inside her apartment. Jerry goes down to George's workplace and confronts the doctor about his hives. She leaves and Kramer, in his white meat slicing coat, steps in as the skin cancer doctor and spots a growth on George's boss. George gets his bare-chested photo. Kramer wants to come clean about the growth; George tells him he will tell his boss to see another doctor. George's boss doesn't think it is a problem, a ten-year-old photo of him shows the mole, it hasn't changed. He also relates to George the story about the dumb guy on the beach with the boom box. He mentions to George (as others have) that he sure has lost a lot of hair in the past ten years. Despite all of that, he gets to keep the job. Later, the guys keep Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to come and open her apartment. Air Date 13 November 1997

THE BETRAYAL

(Episode 164): All scenes in this episode are played in reverse order. Jerry, George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off and Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer and FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra. Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry at Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her wedding. Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from Newman. Elaine finds that Jerry and Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancé who try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren't even going. Jerry and Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date and realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking down the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry's whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday and FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells George and Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resident Jerry tells his neighbor across the hall, Kramer, that what's mine is yours. Air Date 20 November 1997

THE APOLOGY

(Episode 165): Jerry's girlfriend walks around his apartment naked; she even eats breakfast and plays Scrabble naked. An old friend of the gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and is currently working on step 9, where you make amends to individuals for past wrongs. George is anxious to receive Jason's apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine is offended when her co-worker, Peggy, can't tolerate Elaine's germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other people. Kramer discovers he's been taking too long in the shower, so he tries to make some changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes to realize there is good naked and bad naked, when he sees his girlfriend coughing. Jason stops by the restaurant to apologize to Jerry, but fails to apologize to George. George confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer changes don't work out, so he asks for advice from Jerry and observes the men in the shower at a health club. Elaine confronts Peggy and gives her some germs. George tells Jerry how he can show his girlfriend the concept of bad naked using a belt sander. Kramer decides to live in the shower. George talks to Jason's sponsor, who recommends that he attend a meeting, only it's not AA, it's Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA). Jerry executes George's plan. After doing his dishes in the shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal to bathtub. Kramer calls on Puddy for installation advice. Elaine tells Jerry one of the problems with his body and why a naked male body isn't attractive. Puddy tells Elaine why her co-worker doesn't like her germs, she's a "germ-o-phobe," like he used to be ten years ago. He accompanies Elaine on a visit to Peggy to prove his theory. Jerry convinces his girlfriend to put on her clothes; however, he can only picture her naked and unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer cooks up a meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy and the recovering Peggy, only they all react badly when they find out the kitchen was in the shower. Jason tries to apologize to George, but it isn't quite what George had in mind so they both go into a rage. Air Date 11 December 1997

THE STRIKE

(Episode 166): George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing and he decides that she looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed, the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a check for donates $20,000 to the "Human Fund" and later accounting informs him the charity doesn't exist. Gwen finds out from Kramer that Jerry is seeing another woman, Kramer has seen her and she's not Gwen. Gwen thinks Jerry is two timing her with an ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that he passed out the fake gift cards because he didn't want to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally celebrates, Festivus. To prove it, George brings Kruger to his father's Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together. Air Date 18 December 1997

THE DEALERSHIP

(Episode 167): Jerry plans to buy a car with an insider deal from Puddy, who's been promoted to a car salesman. George warns Jerry to watch out for car dealers. Kramer takes the car Jerry is planning to buy for a test drive with another salesman. Elaine returns from a lunch with Puddy at Arby's. Puddy offers Jerry a "high five." Kramer misses the turn to go back to the dealership; instead, he plans to give the car a full test of a Kramer daily routine. Hungry, George seeks out something to eat and must settle for a vending machine candy bar. Only he can't get one from the machine with a crinkled dollar so he asks a mechanic (who he knows has a crisp dollar) for assistance and is refused service. Finally, when he gets the correct change, the Twix bar hangs. With his errands run, Kramer's next test is to take the car to the limits of its fuel tank. Irritated (when isn't he), George seeks assistance from a salesman. When they return to the machine, the Twix bar George had hanging and the one behind it are gone. George suspects the mechanic. Elaine and Puddy have a fight and break up. Jerry's insider deal is off. George confronts the mechanic. Jerry wants George to help him get a good deal; however, George is only interested in getting back at the mechanic. The car salesman riding with Kramer really gets into driving below empty. George tries to complain about the mechanic, but gets into a debate about candy bars. In an attempt to get a great deal on his car, Jerry tries to put Elaine and Puddy "in a relationship today." George sets up a candy bar lineup, to implicate the mechanic, only to find his lineup being eaten. Elaine and Puddy get back together and Jerry is going to get his deal, until Puddy says "high five me" to Jerry, one time too many. Kramer and the salesman, with the dealership in sight, decide instead to go for it. Air Date 8 January 1998

THE REVERSE PEEPHOLE

(Episode 168): Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea, he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zauis" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree. Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carry-all. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat. Air Date 15 January 1998

THE CARTOON

(Episode 169): Kramer's brutal honesty, gets Jerry in trouble with Susan's old college roommate, Sally Weaver. Elaine obsesses over the meaning of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker. Elaine and later Kramer comments that George's new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry. In fact Kramer says "just because they look-a-like, that doesn't mean you're (George) secretly in love with Jerry." Jerry confronts Kramer's frankness. Sally claims that Jerry has ruined her life, she's quitting the business, Jerry can't have that on his conscience, he talks her back into the business. Kramer makes an important life decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to stop talking. Before he finally stops talking, Kramer's constant references to the looks of George's girlfriend, drives George out of Jerry's apartment. Elaine goes to The New Yorker to seek an explanation for the cartoon. Discovering that the editor didn't understand the cartoon either, he liked the kitty. Sally opens her new one woman show about "Jerry Seinfeld- the Devil." Elaine's complaint, gets her the opportunity to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally about the content of her show. Newman is her biggest fan; finally, he can see a "show that is about something." Kramer discovers the disadvantages of not talking. George worries about why he really likes his girlfriend. A clip of Sally's show appears on channel 9 news, it features Jerry's latest confrontation with her. Elaine works all-night on her first cartoon, it is okay, but it is not the gem that Elaine thinks it is. Jerry calls Sally and the message he leaves on her answering machine appears in her show as well. Later the lawsuit he filed appears in her cable special. Jerry decides to cut off all communication with Sally. Elaine's first comic appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it is a great cartoon, until he realizes it is a Ziggy and he can prove it -- "Quick Elaine, to my archives." George and his girlfriend discuss their rel