Episode Guide Season 8
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THE FOUNDATION (season premiere)
(Episode 135): After Susan's death, George is ready to move on, but her parents want to keep her memory alive by setting up a foundation in her memory. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but much younger. Jerry runs into Dolores ("her name rhymed with a female body part" -see episode #60), she suggests that they get together again. Peterman breaksdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge. Jerry and Dolores get together; however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured. Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. George's widower story scores the highest! Kramer's classmates beat him up after class. The Foundation is taking up all of George's time, and while there he discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan. Air Date: Sept. 19, 96
THE SOUL MATE
(Episode 136): George believes The Foundation thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method that comedian Jerry Lewis once used to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and asks Newman for advice. Elaine insists that she'd rather not have a baby, and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a tape recorder in his brief case at a board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam, and bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession: Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how serious he is about not having children. The guys find out Pam doesn't want children either and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase. Air Date: Sept. 26, 96
THE BIZARRO JERRY
(Episode 137): Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and is mistaken for an employee so he starts working there. Elaine sets Jerry up with a beautiful friend, but she has "man hands." George uses a picture of her and passes her off a his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and two of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George busy in the "Forbidden City" and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone. Air Date: Oct. 3, 96
THE LITTLE KICKS
(Episode 138): Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dancing. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film & Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine wonders why her employees have lost respect for her & thinks it might be due to George's influence, so she makes him "off limits" to Anna. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who makes a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Brody likes Jerry's camera work and asks him to do more films. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. After Jerry refuses to tape anymore movies for Brody, George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York. Air Date: Oct. 10, 96
THE PACKAGE
(Episode 139): Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result. Air Date: Oct. 17, 96
THE FATIGUES
(Episode 140): Jerry is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor. George prepares to give a lecture on risk management by reading a book, but realizes that books-on-tape have spoiled him. Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face with him, she promotes him. Kramer runs a Jewish singles night at Frank's Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his girlfriend's mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so he plans to fail an eye test. Elaine's recently promoted employee has some disturbing new ideas. She plans to promote him again. Kramer's party plans go awry when he has to cook for over 180 people. He needs to get Frank's advice on cooking for the masses, despite George's warning. Elaine's promotional plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry's girlfriend sees Bania's act and loses respect for her mentor. Elaine tries working with her employee. George figures out an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming Bania's mentor. Jerry and his now ex-girlfriend get their files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine and Bania on risk management. Frank's cooking skills are reborn, until he sees someone choking. Air Date: Oct. 31, 96.
THE CHECKS
(Episode 141): Elaine's new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture & the song "Desperado." Jerry spots an umbrella salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman says it was someone else. Hundreds of twelve cent royalty checks keep arriving from Jerry's brief appearance on a Japanese TV show. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners he hired are actually a religious cult. Intrigued, George tries to be converted, but they're not interestedin him. Kramer meets some Japanese businessman & he takes them out on the town & to the cleaners. Brett delivers a large chest of drawers to Kramer & thinks that Jerry might be jealous. Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry & George did would be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple of Japanese TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that she & Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese friends up at his place. They're sleeping in the chest of drawers. Jerry, caught in the rain, meets the man who claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced Jerry is down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a new recruit. Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer's guests get stuck in the chest. Jerry, with writers cramp from check signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the Japanese guests & injures Brett who passes out. The TV executives, scared from Jerry's actions, turn down the TV pilot. While Mr. Wilhelm shows up to clean the carpets. Air Date: Nov. 7, 96
THE CHICKEN ROASTER
(Episode 142): Kenny Rogers' Fried Chicken Restaurant opens in the neighborhood & the large neon chicken sign beams lights-up Kramer's apartment. Jerry meets an old college buddy who he talks into missing an important meeting which, in turn, gets him fired. Elaine abuses Peterman's expense account, including a big hat for George, that he tries leaving at the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to get a second date with her. Elaine tries to justify her expenses to the accounting department & needs the hat. Jerry's college friend becomes "manager" of the chicken place. Kramer & Jerry switch apartments; however, more than just the apartment gets switched! Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny's chicken. Elaine brings George to the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to retrieve the hat. Jerry demands his apartment back when he finds out Kramer is hooked. Elaine goes to Burma in search of Peterman to get her expenses authorized. George keeps scheming to get that second date. Jerry's fake Russian hat has an impact on the chicken business. Air Date: Nov. 14, 96
THE ABSTINENCE
(Episode 143): George's girlfriend has mono & can't have sex with him for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry is bumped at career day at his former junior high school, & then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's & is asked to leave so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes him smarter. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. She uses George's technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese & prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license & leaves her sexless. Air Date: Nov. 21, 96
THE ANDREA DORIA
(Episode 144): George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into, but finds out he can't get it because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." She is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Jerry & Kramer discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. Kramer's has a cold but he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; but he won't since he didn't get transfered to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get cold medicine. Elaine's blind date gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper". George confronts his rival for the apartment & decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her & tells she has "a big head." Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication & beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine & she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail, but he's too efficient for the Post Office. Elaine meets up with her blind date & makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. Air Date: Dec. 19, 96
THE LITTLE JERRY
(Episode 145): Everyone comments about a bad check of Jerry's that is on display at Marcelino's store. While visiting a prison, George meets a female convict that he decides to ask out. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster that he names "Little Jerry Seinfeld"; of course he really wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry's parents find out about the check & offer to send money. Elaine finds out her bald boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him to start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs of hair loss. He begins to feel despondent. George's convict girlfriend is up for parole. Kramer enters "Little Jerry" in a cock fight that if he wins, Jerry's bad check will be taken down. George is a character witness for Celia's parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her in. Jerry's bad check doesn't come down, because Marcelino wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-loss advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine. Jerry & Kramer train "Little Jerry" for the big cock fight. George experiences "fugitive sex" when Celia breaks out after her parole was denied. Celia is tracked down & Kurt is mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a ringer in for the big fight; Kramer tries to save "Little Jerry" but pays the price. Air Date: Jan. 9, 1997
THE MONEY
(Episode 146): Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. Elaine buys George's coffee & he thinks she's sticking it to him. Jerry & George talk about the money their parents might have. This peaks George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habits. Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family's health history. Jerry meets with Klompus & agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George anticipating a big inheritance, begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus wrecks the car & Jerry returns to Florida. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular position at Peterman, with no options. George & Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash & credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer & Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas house. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place. Air Date: Jan. 16, 1997
THE COMEBACK
(Episode 147): George has trouble thinking of a comeback to a comment made by Reilly; he finally thinks of one, but too late. Jerry buys a new tennis racket from a supposed professional. Elaine & Kramer discuss video picks. Elaine prefers picks by Vincent. He prefers picks by Gene or his own. He watches his latest pick & it makes him concerned about spending the rest of his life in a coma. Elaine is intrigued when she receives a phone call from the mysterious Vincent. Jerry discovers that the "tennis pro" is a terrible player. George comes up with what he thinks is the perfect line & will listen to no one else's opinion. Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine as the executor. The tennis pro, fearing he will be exposed, tries to bribe Jerry, including a rendezvous with his wife. Elaine opts for another movie & makes Vincent angry. George finds out that Reilly doesn't work for the Yankees anymore, so he tracks him down to Ohio, where he plans to deliver his line. Kramer finishes the video he rented & discovers it is possible to recover from a coma, so he decides to change his will. Milos' wife has no respect for him; so he asks Jerry to let him beat him in tennis. Elaine receives a phone call from Vincent & they agree to meet. She is surprised to find out he is just a teenager. Kramer goes into a coma after being hit with tennis balls. Meanwhile, in Akron, George delivers his line. Air Date: Jan. 30, 97
THE VAN BUREN BOYS
(Episode 148): Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. They all seem over-qualified except one who's a lot like George. Elaine is writing Peterman's biography. Kramer encounters the Van Buren boys & accidentally flashes their gang sign saving himself. Peterman's day-to-day life is very boring, Elaine tells him about Kramer's encounter & Peterman suggests buying the story for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his plans causing George to disqualify him from the scholarship. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine finds Kramer's story about as dull as Peterman's. George tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of Ellen. They like her & he begins to see the light. Air Date: Feb. 6, 97
THE SUSIE
(Episode 149): Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball. He hopes to show off his tall blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says she wants to talk. He runs away. "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He really wants to make that big entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact, Kramer attends the game & gets into a fight with a key player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hears about the complaints & demands to see Elaine, Peggy & "Susie" in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry, so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer breaks up with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through the morning meeting. Mike gets trapped in Jerry's trunk. Elaine & Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to eliminate "Susie." George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine delivers the eulogy at "Susie"'s wake, much to the confusion of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance at the ball. Mike escapes from Jerry's trunk & accuses him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell George; Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in "Susie"'s honor. Air Date: Feb. 13, 97
THE POTHOLE
(Episode 150): Jerry's girlfriend uses a toothbrush that he had just pulled out of the toilet. George shows off the new Phil Rizzuto key ring. Kramer complains about the failing highway infra-structure, so he adopts a one mile piece of a highway. Elaine tries to order a new Chinese dish, but she lives out of bounds. George loses his keys. Jerry plans to secretly sterilize his girlfriend's mouth. Despite his attempts, he just can't get past "cleanliness" hangup. George theorizes that he may have lost his keys when he jumped over a pothole. Kramer works diligently to keep his part of the road clean. Elaine schemes to get her Chinese food by moving into a janitor's closet, located in the building across the street. A woman who lives in the building begins to complain to her about the cleaning up the building needs. Jenna finds out about the toothbrush & sticks something of Jerry's in his toilet; only he doesn't know what. Kramer's plans to improve his mile of road takes a turn for the worse. Elaine has the gang over for dinner in the janitor closet she's moved into temporarily. George works to clear the pothole. Jerry breaks it off officially when Jenna's toilet problem becomes to much to bear. Elaine brings the garbage to the dump in Jerry's car. Kramer spills the paint thinner on the highway. Sparks hit the spill & Newman is in the middle of the resulting fire. Air Date: Feb. 20, 97
THE ENGLISH PATIENT
(Episode 151): A beautiful woman (Danielle) mistakes George for her boyfriend, Neil. George becomes obsessed with meeting this "Neil". Kramer asks Jerry to bring back some "Cubans" while Jerry is in Florida helping his parents move. Elaine sees "The English Patient" on a date and hates it, alienating her from everyone. Jerry buys his dad a T-shirt saying "#1 DAD". Although it's too small his dad wears it all the time. In his parents weight room, Jerry meets Izzy; a very competitive 80 year old who challenges Jerry to weight lifting. Izy throws out his back & blames Jerry. Turns out the cubans aren't cigars, they're really Dominicans that Kramer wants to pass-off as Cubans in rolling cigars for him. Jerry meets the rest of Izzy's comptetive family & puts them in the hospital too. Peterman takes Elaine to see "The English Patient" & she ends up having to live in the Tunisian desert to keep her job. The Dominicans' new job puts the real Neil in the hospital. When Danielle decides to stay with Neil, George gets the last word on Neil. Air Date: March 13, 97
THE NAP
(Episode 152): George constructs a place to nap while at work; under his desk. Kramer finds the local pool too constricting for his swimming needs so he begins swimming in the East River. Elaine's date sends her a mattress for her back but she gets the wrong idea. She gives the mattress to Kramer. Jerry is getting new kitchen cabinets & George ends up getting the contractor to make some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm clock. Steinbrenner visits George's office & decides to wait for George to return. George gets Jerry to phone in a bomb threat in an effort to get Steinbrenner out of his office. Meanwhile, Jerry's contractor, has made a change in Jerry's kitchen that no one likes. Elaine gets her mattress back, but Kramer has fouled it up with the stench of the East River. Elaine's boyfriend discovers the benefits of swimming in the East River too. Steinbrenner hears a ticking sound in George's office, thinks it's a bomb and calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old kitchen back. Elaine throws her back out trying to get rid of the mattress. Kramer's river gets crowded & George finds a new place to nap. - Jerry's cabinets! Air Date: April, 10, 97
THE YADA YADA
(Episode 153): George's enjoys his girlfriend's use of the phrase "yada yada". Jerry's dentist(Tim Whatley) just became Jewish & is already making jewish jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable. Jerry thinks Tim converted just to corner the joke market. Kramer & Mickey double date but they can't decide which of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference for Beth & Arnie, a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. Mickey & Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets her to fill in the details & discovers much more than he wants to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim's conversion. Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth & Arnie & makes a huge sacrifice attempting to get them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her marriage falls apart. Beth accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she proclaims an unknown side of her personality. Air Date: April 24, 97
THE MILLENNIUM
(Episode 154): Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year's Eve party two years in advance & he has some strange ideas about what life in that year. George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his position on the speed dial & then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit from the Yankees organization; however, all his attempts make him look better in the organization. The step-mother of Jerry's girlfriend's confronts him over his #1 position on the speed dial. Newman compromises with Kramer about their respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only has one condition, the next century must be "Jerry free." Elaine discovers the clothing store she began frequenting is owned by the same woman who didn't help her at the other store. Kramer reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings & gets Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans her revenge on the store with Kramer's help. Jerry gets caught in the middle of a speed dial war between his girlfriend & stepmother. Air Date: May 1, 97
THE MUFFIN TOPS
(Episode 155): Elaine has an idea for a store that sells only muffin tops, but finds that there is nowhere to put the stumps. George watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts wearing some of the clothes. Kramer begins claiming that he is the real "Peterman." George becomes a tourist from Arkansas when he meets a beautiful woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves his chest & worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend likes hairless dogs. Kramer starts conducting "Peterman Reality Tours". Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down two jobs & makes a deal to trade George for chicken. . Elaine hires "a cleaner" to make the muffin stump problem go away. While on Kramer's tour, Jerry's chest begins itching from hair growth. Air Date: May 8, 97
THE SUMMER OF GEORGE
(Episode 156): George's severance package from the Yankees should last him about 3 months so he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Kramer goes to the Tony Awards as a seat filler. When Elaine criticizes a co-worker who walks with no arm movements, Elaine is accused of being "catty." Jerry's date has a man living with her. By mistake, Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical starring Raquel Welch. Kramer is confronted by the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" who have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. George is in charge of buying invitations for Lanette's party. Kramer does his duty but pays the price. A mad Raquel Welch gets into a cat fight with Elaine. George gets distracted & slips on an invitation. The gang is back at the hospital, where they were one year ago only this time George is the one in a hospital bed. Air Date: May 15, 97