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Episode Guide Season 5

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(Episode 65): Elaine admits that she faked orgasms when she was involved with Jerry, and Jerry begs her for another opportunity to satisfy her. George is afraid that the woman he is dating also fakes orgasm. Kramer tries returning a poor-quality peach to the fruit stand and is banished him from the store. Air Date: 9/16/93


(Episode 66): When Kramer and his soft-spoken girlfriend go out to dinner with Elaine and Jerry, Jerry unwittingly agrees to wear a puffy shirt that she designed on "The Today Show." The shirt is so ridiculous that Bryant Gumble makes disparaging comments about it on the air. George is forced to move in with his parents and gets a job as a hand model and he becomes obsessed with keeping his hands safe. Air Date: 9/23/93


(Episode 67): George misplaces his eyeglasses while at the gym and asks Elaine and Jerry to help him buy a new pair. The trip to the optometrist becomes a disaster when Elaine is bitten by a dog that she fears is rabid. George tries to get a discount by mentioning Kramer's Name, but the optometrist refuses vehemently. George thinks he sees Jerry's cousin, Jeffrey, kissing Jerry's girlfriend. It turns out to be a horse. Air Date: 9/30/93


(Episode 68): Jerry sees his accountant at the diner and becomes suspicious of his constant sniffing so Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. George tries to become a ladies undergarment salesman after his father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Elaine dumps her writer boyfriend because his punctuation(exclamation points) is not lively enough. Air Date: 10/7/93


(Episode 69): Jerry and Elaine are asked to be the godparents of Myra and Stan's baby. When Elaine hires an unsteady moil, he accidentally cuts Jerry's hand while circumcising the child. A man commits suicide by leaping from the hospital and lands on George's car. George attempts to have the hospital reimburse him for the damages. Kramer tries to liberate a man whom he believes had been genetically crossed with a pig in an evil scientific experiment. Air Date: 10/14/93


(Episode 70): Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the U.S. Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading the lips, Kramer misreads the translation, which gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis. Air Date: 10/28/93


(Episode 71): Jerry and Elaine think the yogurt at Kramer's friend's store is too good to be fat-free, so they take it to a lab to be analyzed where it is accidentally mixed in with mayoral challenger Guiliani's blood sample. While at the yogurt store, Jerry accidentally uses the "F" word which a young boy (Matthew) overhears and he begins to repeat the vulgarity to his mother's displeasure. The lab determines that the yogurt is not fat free and Guiliani uses this information as a campaign issue, winning the election. Elaine tells her boyfriend, Lloyd, who works for Mayor Dinkins, of George's idea that all New Yorkers wear a Name tag. This suggestion causes Lloyd to lose his job. Air Date: 11/4/93


(Episode 72): After getting a bad haircut from his barber Enzo, Jerry secretly arranges for Enzo's cousin, Gino, to repair it. Enzo is suspicious that Jerry is having his hair cut by someone else, so he hires Newman to steal a piece of Jerry's hair. George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not,so he decides to go into the office and act like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Air Date: 11/11/93


(Episode 73): Jerry dates Jodi, a masseuse, who refuses to give him a massage. His frustration increases when he discovers that she is massaging Kramer. George goes on a double date with Jerry and Jodi only to find out that Jodi cannot stand him. Unable to cope with the idea that someone does not like him, George is determined to change Jodi's opinion of him. Elaine dates a man who would be perfect for her if he did not share a Name with a notorious criminal. Air Date: 11/18/93


(Episode 74): Jerry tries to impress Elaine and her friend, Winona, with a thoughtful gift: an antique statue of a cigar store Indian. Winona, who is Native American, is deeply offended. George gets intimate with a woman on his parents' bed and accidentally leaves behind a condom wrapper. Elaine takes one of George's father's TV Guides, reads it on the subway, and then discards it. An obsessive TV Guide collector tries to return it to her. Kramer sells his idea for making a coffee table book about coffee tables to Elaine's company. Air Date: 12/9/93


(Episode 75): Jerry is interested in his neighbor, Tawni, until he finds a fungus medication in her bathroom. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend whose a podiatrist. George wants to convert to the Latvian Orthodox religion to maintain his latest relationship. Kramer unwittingly entrances a Latvian nun-in- training who wants to leave the church to be with him. Consequently, he seeks help for the unusual power he has over women Air Date: 12/16/93


(Episode 76): Elaine runs out of tissue paper in a public restroom and requests some from the woman in the adjacent stall. When the woman, whom Jerry is dating, refuses, she and Elaine get into an argument. Elaine's boyfriend, Tony, is an adventurer, who holds no appeal for her other than his rugged good looks. When Tony's face is injured in a fall, Elaine has to decide whether or not she will continue to see him. Kramer suspects that Jerry's girlfriend is the same woman with whom he has phone sex. Air Date: 1/6/94


(Episode 77): The four friends stop on their way to a dinner party to buy cake and wine. Elaine and Jerry get into a fight with a couple on line at the bakery, only to learn that they will be at the same party. George and Kramer run into a series of difficulties trying to purchase wine, culminating in George's breaking a shelf of bottles. When they return to their car, a man who appears to be Saddam Hussein has blocked them in. Air Date: 2/3/94


(Episode 78): Jerry bumps into an old classmate who asks about George. Sensitive to George's string of bad luck, Jerry impulsively tells the woman that George is a marine biologist, and she is impressed. Kramer struggles with his golf swing and sand. When George and the woman are at the beach on a date, a marine biologists needed to help rescue a beached whale. Elaine gets to work with the acclaimed Russian writer, Yuri Testikov, who throws her electronic organizer out the window, hitting a passer- by. Air Date: 2/10/94


(Episode 79): Jerry can't believe that his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise. Air Date: 2/17/94


(Episode 80): Kramer talks his stand-in friend, one of the "little people" into getting lifts, to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, whose in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won't when he finds out she is being to urged to break it off. One of Jerry's friends "takes it out" while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again. Air Date: 2/24/94


(Episode 81): A girlfriend(Courtney Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents. Air Date: 3/17/94


(Episode 82,83): Jerry's parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and he's just returned from three weeks on the road can't get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfeld's avoid the Costanza's dinner invitation. Elaine's latest boyfriend(the "close-talker") becomes unusually fixated on Jerry's parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry's father to sell belt-less raincoats to a second hand shop and George sells his father's moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan a cruise. Eventually, Jerry and his girlfriend go to a movie together, "Schindler's List", they don't see it because they make-out during the movie, but Newman sees it and them. NOTE: Originally broadcast as a 60 min episode. Air Date: 3/28/94


(Episode 84): Kramer is dating one of Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment, during her son's birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gun man. Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice. Air Date: 5/5/94


(Episode 85): Jerry and the gang go to the Hamptons for the weekend to see their friend's baby. George gets upset when he realizes that his date went topless on the beach. In exchange for Jerry having seen her breasts, George wants to see Jerry's date naked. Instead, Rachel walks in on George undressing after a swim, and she witnesses his post-swim "shrinkage". Jerry and Elaine are shocked to discover how ugly the baby is, and Elaine becomes especially confused when the handsome Dr. Pfeiffer describes both her and the baby as "breathtaking." Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Air Date: 5/12/94

THE OPPOSITE Season finale

(Episode 86): To change his lifelong bad luck, George determines to do everything the opposite. As a result, he winds up dating a fabulous woman and secures a job with the New York Yankees. Elaine's luck takes a turn for the worse as she gets a promotion, but her Jujy fruit habit causes a chain reaction leading to the demise of her company. Jerry loses a job only to line up another one five minutes later. Kramer appears on "Regis & Kathie Lee" promoting his coffee-table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven." Air Date: 5/19/94